Why not make a special effort to get to know them next time?
My mil was a very tough cookie - and at times drove me crackers with her comments. But I persevered, for my OH's sake, as I am glad I did. We grew to appreciate and respect each other with time - and I realised that there were very good reasons why she was so tough at times- and that basically she had no choice to keep the family afloat, and to compensate for a very nice but totally ineffectual fil who was a bit of a waste of space. She is long gone now, and I am glad I persevered.
Sils and dils are not always perfect either ... and it does indeed take two. Thinking of friends of mine who've struggled to get on with dils or sils - I can see how the friction built up. Like the one whose dil always pushed her OH to spend more and more money they could not afford and getting deeply into debt, new big kitchen, posh holidays, etc- until they were so far into debt that it broke the family. Or the one whose dil didn't work and spent the day at the gym or horse riding or shopping with gf and then expected her OH do look after kids, do housework and cook dinner after a very long day at work. Or the one who fed kids pizzas and take aways all the time and never cooked a 'proper' meal...and the mil had to watch those kids get fatter and fatter and suffer from all sorts of ailments, and so on. I've got gf who spend all week looking after grand-children as free babysitters, and never a word of appreciation or thank you, never a present or taken for a meal out- and still constantly being criticised for doing their very best, day in, day out. If you love your son and daughter and see them pushed to the limit or constantly undermined by their spouse - it is very difficult at time to keep stumm. That's the nature of mother love. I am lucky none of those apply to my sils, but i've seen some pretty bad examples.
I had the best mum in-law I could wish for. She welcomed me into her home, helped me to learn German, put me strait in the kindest possible way when I made a social booboo in the village.
It must have been tiring at times for her, she worked and run the home. I repaid her kindness by spring-cleaning rooms, washing up etc.
The biggest accolade she paid me was remaining a dear friend---not just in words but in deeds...long after I divorced her son. Heaven was smiling down on me when it paired me up with her and my father in-law. They are both dead now but i hold them dearly in my heart and I know that Switzerland would have been a much colder place without them.
How interesting for me to go back and read my post from earlier days here. Things still aren't perfect with m-i-l, and I don't expect them to be, after all, things aren't perfect with my own mother either!
M-i-l has recently suffered a minor stroke and then another scary bit the following week (not numb, but odd feeling on same side that had stroke symptoms before), so instead of "helping" her babysit the boys (her grandsons, my nephews) two afternoons a week, I'm to be there the whole of Thursday and Friday with her and the boys. She watches them without compensation, her son (my b-i-l) is grateful and thanks, but still...
Meanwhile, I seem to have taken her by surprise when I told her last week or so that I've been discussing with hubby that we should maybe start looking for a large enough place that the three of us can live together. The doctors can't find what caused the stroke, and she sometimes has dizzy spells also, and is reacting poorly to some new medications. She told me that she's not so comfy being on her own, she's nervous that something may happen and there isn't anyone there to help her.
I dunno. I like her, I care for her, there have been times we've bumped heads a bit, but over all, we agree more than we disagree.
u think your mother in law is a problem..u have no idea wt mine is line...my MIL is psyco bitch...she just cant stand me..
i dont know why..but she come to me on my day off and try to take controle over my house...she checks everything inclusing the garbage cans..to see wt i have thrown away..
i cant go out with my husband any where...when she is visiting me i have to sleep with her..i cant go to my room..she will make a big fuss and fight in the night bz we are leaving her alone.
she is the most crasient person...when she visits me i have to only cook what she likes..which is veryweek...she call me ugly gril and etc.
she is such a controle freek... i have lost my temper manytime and asked her to be away...i tried to be patients for more than a year ..but now its been so impossible..she started spying on me..as if im cheating on someone or smthing,,sge visits my work place unimformed...i can go out with friends I cant even have any friends.
u have no idea what the life i have...i think u should thank got to have one like that.
i work 100% and i have to travel daily 3 hours to go and come back from work...with all that i have an pain in the assk every weeksebd...she screems at me telling stupidthings as if i stole her son and bla bla...i even went to the edge and wanted to go to the police...when i say that to her she goes calm...my husband is always in my side...but endof the day she is his mother...wt best could it happed.
be happy for what u have
I love it when someone's emotions can be captured through their spellings
Good morning, and welcome to EF. I didn't actually read your post. I tried, but I couldn't. Obviously I'm linguistically challenged.
Anyway, I hope you find what it is you're looking for in Migros or Coop. Or was this a question about Billag?
I had no problem understanding her post but maybe it's because I tried. Good thing the Swiss make an effort with me because my German is a lot worse than her English. ;p
It sounds like she has a horrific relationship with her mother-in-law. I thought I had it bad...eek.
I think there is a nugget of advice in there about being grateful for what you have.
Mine's dead, so no problems!
Tom
Yep. Mine too. Sort of sad, she died before DH and i became serious, and my mother died three years before we met, so we've had father in laws, but no mother in laws. FILs were/are quite ok. I suspect the MILs would have been more challenging, but fine.
mine's insane. It used to be funny but now it's not.
Is she Italian (or Ticinese)?
In that case, she's probably normal.
Tom
Since we moved to Spain, I started missing mine... Too far to go by car and they won't travel here.
You could say both, Tom...!!
It is your choice to put up with that. Who cares if she is your husbands mother, tell her that her behaviour is not acceptable, and if you have to then put a stop to her coming around to your place. Your husband sounds like he is also lacking in balls, and he should also be supporting you through that and telling his mother what is and what isn't acceptable.
You can either be a mouse and just take the abuse, or be strong and let her know that it isn't right. At the very least you have the choice not to be in her presence.
My in-laws were sweethearts, very quiet, unassuming, gentle people.
They both died soon after I married my husband, I'm just glad they were there to see us happy.
I cannot pass further comment without incriminating myself