I just wanted to share some news for the people here that I actually know in person, and have met me and my wife.
Yesterday morning she died. Her heart just stopped. Sudden coughing fit in bed, then nothing. The worst thing that’s ever happened to me. Or her, for that matter. I still can’t take it it, so much of one’s existence is based around things you did together. She’d been at my side for half my life. I’m tearing up now, again, so will stop.
I’m not looking for actual help, I just need to share my grief.
Although I have never met you or your wife in person, I am very sorry to hear your devastating news. I can’t begin to imagine what a terrible shock this must be.
I wish you a lot of strength and hope you have family and friends not too far away.
I am deeply shocked to read your message this morning. I can’t imagine the pain and loss you must be feeling right now. Please accept my most heartfelt condolences on the sudden passing of your wife.
Although I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting you in person, I’ve always enjoyes reading your messages here and on EF, where you were such a decent moderator. Your words reflect the incredible bond you shared with your wife, half a lifetime together is such a precious gift and losing her so suddenly is unimaginable.
Your post reminded me of my paternal grandparents, who have been married for over 60 years. Despite being from different origins (she is Swedish, he is Iranian) they have always lived in harmony and happiness. To this day, I have never seen them quarrel, not even once. They often say how difficult life would be if one of them were to disappear, and that thought alone is heartbreaking. That’s why a partner is often called the other half, over the years, we become so deeply connected and dependent on them. Your words so poignantly so eloquenly show how true this is.
I hope you can find some confort in the beautiful memories of the life you shared together and in the support of those who care about you, even from afar.
I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts during this incredibly difficult time.
Je te souhaite beaucoup de courage et de réconfort dans ces moments difficiles.
I am so very sorry for your loss, and I cannot imagine how much it hurts. Our dear friend passed away last week after an heroic battle with inoperable glioblastoma, and we are still tearing up too. Please tell us if you need anything. Be kind to yourself, and remember, always remember with love.
Oh we used to quarrel all the time, we were known for it
I met her just before my first ever ski trip, with a friend, filling in for a couple that had dropped out of a group trip. She was skiing the week after, so we had to arrange another trip to ski together. We drove overnight with the same friend to Tignes for a long weekend. Drove back overnight as well, straight into the office on Monday (or was it Tuesday?) morning. First of many.
Since then we’ve shared our ski journey, both becoming Ski Club reps (me first by three years) and instructors (her first, by a year and a half). She was a constant inspiration to me, both on and off snow. We moved out to France/Switzerland at least partly to enable more skiing, bought a flat in Engelberg for even more, and eventually our chalet in Morgins.
I would never have done any of these things without her. I honestly do not know what I’m going to do.
In the house in Alsace at the moment, there’s a close neighbour who helped me out yesterday, called me this morning to check up on me. She lost her husband in similarly sudden circumstances four years ago so she knows what I’m going through.
Got some close friends from the UK coming over in a couple of days, right now I might be better off on my own, just letting the tears come as and when they do.
So sorry to hear this Ace. It’s such a shock when they depart like this. Do give yourself time to grieve and don’t rush anything. We’re here if you need us.
I’m so so sorry for your sudden loss. I can’t imagine how deep your shock and grief must be right now. Small comfort it may be but, as others have said, come and offload on here if you need to.
Your world has been turned upside-down from one day to the next. Just take it day by day for the foreseeable. Accept any help offered and ask people for help when you need it, and don’t be rushed. It will be a while before you know what you are going to do and that’s totally normal.
I am deeply saddened to hear about your sudden loss. Losing a spouse so quickly must be overwhelming, and it’s completely normal to feel lost right now. Please be gentle with yourself during this incredibly difficult time. There’s no “right” way to grieve, and you don’t need to have everything figured out immediately.
I’m sorry to hear this this tragic news and hope you are doing as well as you can be given the circumstances.
I’m glad you have someone to talk to. I always found that talking to someone who had similar experiences was always helpful to feel less alone and help to process all the events and emotions.
The only advice I can think of is “Do not make any hasty decisions or plans, take your time until you slowly and painfully start to come to terms with this horror”
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope her memory will bring you comfort, talk about her often and remember her with love. It just sucks, massively. It’s hard to find words…. I hope your friends who are coming to be with you will help.
