What is annoying for me here in Lugano is how distant the local people are. Don't get me wrong. I love Lugano with all the advantages and disadvantages. But after 5 years here (well, travelling abroad 70% of my time) I have 100% friends German, French, American, Dutch, Russian etc. And ZERO Swiss. I would really like to get to know them better. While going out, I can see foreigners having fun, talk to each other, have a lough etc etc. Ticinese - never! For example, 3 local girls get into the disco ... they have a drink... they dance .... they say hi to the people they know ... they leave in the same pack! Where is life, for God sake?!)) If you start talking to that kind of girls, they are bloody shocked that the guy talks to them. You can sense the fear in their eyes that shouts "girls, I am in trouble right now!" ) This is sooo funny! I lived in the UK for 5 years. It is pretty normal to talk to people you don't know and get friendly. And such thing does not mean that the guy will insist on something more. Lugano: NEVER TALK TO PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW! THEY ARE ALL BAD!!! )))
Can anyone explain what's going on here?!
P.S. I am 31, recently divorced. Not a Brad Pitt type but not an ugly one too. Sporty and positive. All of my friends are married/in relations. I find it hard to meet the girls here. If I go to other countries - no problem. It pisses me off! ))
P.S.2: major information right here: due to frequent business trips I did not get a chance to learn Italian I know, I know..... I promise to pick it up)))
In contrast to this one of my (Swiss German) colleagues went to Lugano last weekend and everyone in his group pulled and took someone back to their hotel room. He said it was amazing how "un-swiss" the girls there acted, very fun and flirty and open. He's early 20's, girls were same or younger, all spoke High German.
Maybe it's an age thing... the older women are possibly more cautious and reserved.
That I can easily believe! It's amazing how "100 years back" this place is
My friend is married to a local guy (35y.old). He had a couple of drinks and started to express his hard feelings on the sexual education he had. At the age of 31 he knew soooo little. Shoking! I was really sorry about his past. His parents had always had one answer on his intimate question: get to your room and do your math. Friend were same inexperienced as he was. Well.... I do not think that all the people are like this in Lugano. It is an italian part, therefore, more emotional and active than in other CH. I guess, this guy is more an exception from the mass. At least, I truly hope so
Swiss are v closed. and swiss girls usually dont like mingle with non swiss... unless you look like B.P.... and Most Italian girls only like itlians... sorry, but yes, you are quite hopeless... go to ZH or come to Geneve
How did you get "17" from "early 20's"... Freudian slip perhaps.
Either way threads like this only confirm the reason why I usually take little notice of (generally ex-pat) opinions on things like this. One person goes somewhere and has a great time and gets lucky without issue, another goes there and it's awful and the girls don't bite.
The young Ticinesi girls are fun and easy to meet, can only confirm Rich's story. I studied with many different Swiss in Geneva, and the Ticinesi were certainly the most open and fun-loving. But I find the Ticino generally a rather dull and boring place for old people, so i can emphasise a bit.
I have a little different experience. That's why when I am in Zurich, I have no issues at all. So I agree with Bluesky_2009 Zurich is just a normal European city. Lugano? Not really. But I like it anyway
Well what I mean is... just because you have tried and failed to pick up girls in a certain area, this does not mean that the entire female populace of that area are uptight, unfriendly, or no fun. It just means you didn't pull.
Do you guys see eyes contact here in Lugano? Do you see the flirting body language around you between guys and girls? I do! They come from Brazilians, Russians, Germans, Dutch. Not the locals. This is what my concern is about. It's not about my fish catching skills.
Well, you may fail to see Switzerland, and especially Ticino, has deep-rooted protestant/catholic values - 'getting pulled in a bar' is just not on the agenda of the average woman.
I get your point. That's true. I don't think that talking to strangers is anti-catholic. They may think differently Well, they are in disco so expect the guys to want more than a small talk. Anyway, strange...
If a local guy approaches them, no, they won't expect ulterior motives. If you chat to them in English, then yes they will assume you're up for something - and it seems it is your underlying plan, so they are right. :-)
(Just as an info, the average ticinesi female has 1 - 3 sexual relationships in their entire life.)
P.S. I'm half ticinese, talking about relatives and friends >25 yrs old.
Haha, that might have been the case a few generations ago, the girls I met certainly were no virgins.
But as I said, Ticino is a somewhat dull place, as soon as the Ticinesi leave to greener pastures they're among the most fun-loving and easy-going Swiss there are.
Just a shot in the dark here. You said you're not bad looking but mentioned lack of flirts, conversations and eye contact. I would venture that your lack of pull power could be due to poor clothing choice, including shoes.
Take a look at your wardrobe compared to the locals that pull. Do you look scruffy or like you might work as a janitor? Sharpen up! Do you look like a banker or the father of a girl you're after? Take it down a notch to elegant casual.
I only say this because I notice a dramatic difference in how I am received when I am dressed differently. When I bike from work, I dress down (a suit doesn't fit nicely in a bike bag) = few eyes, few flirts. When I'm on the train I dress a bit more elegantly, but still cool for the 30s = all eyes + flirts.
And shoes? Major. A simple, elegant, age-appropriate wardrobe can work wonders.