If parents are doing a good job of raising their children (acceptance of oneself, body image, sexual education, morals, values etc etc etc) a silly magazine is not going to undo all of that.
I bet he just wants it for the articles.
I started reading cosmo when I was young and d*mn it, I still read Cosmo (but only when I fly, there's just something about Cosmo on an airplane for me).
It's not just the silly magazines. It's the accumulative effect of the whole environment: internet, magazines, TV, movies, friends, etc.
Unfortunately, all of these things combined will easily outdo any good parenting.
How do we keep our kids safe and normal? I have no idea! Still learning as I go along.
I admit I developed my appreciation for the written word with Penthouse Forums. The knowledge gained was quite useful later in life.
But it still doesn't mean I condone perverts.
No, I do not believe that is true. Your children are not that susceptible to TV, movies, internet and magazines. A good loving home environment with stable loving involved parents will prevail over media. If that were really true wouldn't we all be all sorts of ed up? Who we are controlled by the media we're subjected to?
Normal is boring anyways.
Did we ever figure out why the boy wanted the playboy? Has he not heard of the internets and all it's nudity?
Your 'safe and normal' could be another parent's idea of a monastic life. I'm sure most of us have had our 'experiences' growing up. Who is to say what is safe and what is normal? Life just happens. When parents try to overprotect, worse things can happen that last a lifetime.
While I don't particularly like Cosmo, I don't think it promotes a life of promiscuity with as many partners as possible (as you mentioned in an earlier post). It's more like "stay emotionally healthy and feel free to make your choices in your best interests".
If you read Cosmo and other women's magazines 20 years ago and compared them to how they are now, you would know what I mean.
It certainly didn't have articles describing how to give the best oral sex and other such nonsense that young girls don't need to be learning about.
Chemgoddess, let me guess, you don't have children?
Well... Playboy is known for their well rounded articles.
That said, is this the only 14 year old boy in Switzerland that doesn't have an Internet connection who's forced to publicly embarrass himself by asking an adult to supply him with nuddie pictures..?
but seriously, I as an adult wouldn't want to put myself in some sort of "stepping over the line morally" situation with an underage child so I would just politely side step his request.
No, I don't have children, but that doesn't mean I might not know what I'm talking about because you know, I was once a child, in a loving home and I'm very proud of my parents and the job they did with me and my brother and sister.
Just cause I don't have children doesn't mean I don't know things and just because you do have children doesn't inherently give you some grander knowledge things that I can't possibly have because I haven't yet had babies.
I read cosmo 15 years ago and I read it now. Not so different and it doesn't promote a lifestyle of promiscuity and no family values.
I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree. I'm sure many mothers know exactly what I'm talking about. You will also see things very differently when you do have children.
Lynn, I think it is quite dangerous to generalize "mothers" the way you keep on doing. I am a mother of two and I have a rather different view than you have on these issues. So please don't assume that all mothers think and feel the same about what is "normal" as you put it.
I really think that we are going way off topic here and this is just going to get nastier and nastier. So why don't we just let the boys get back to their Playboy issues instead of all the knit picking.
OK, this is the last I have to say about this thread and then I'm out of here:
I stated "many mothers" which of course, might or might not include you Tilia.
I'm sure that many mothers (and fathers as well) would agree about all the negative influences on our children, that simply weren't present when we were growing up. The world has changed and children are exposed to a whole different world than ever before. As parents we do our best to raise them right and to teach them about morals, manners, safe sex, etc., but the outside influences are more powerful than ever before and the family unit is slowly being destroyed and children don't respect their parents like they used to.
It is now cool to have children out of wedlock, live together instead of getting married, having dozens or hundreds of sexual partners (from what I read in Cosmo, men actually prefer women who have slept with a lot of men prior to being with them because they are more exprienced), group sex, etc. Anything goes! Children as young as 10 or 11 are having sex and many don't even consider oral sex as sex thanks to Mr. Clinton.
No matter what you say, this was not the norm a few decades ago. Some might call this progress and freedom but as a mother it's not an easy time.
Ah, now I understand. You are very susceptible to the media and what it tells you, so you assume that others are as well.
Just don't assume the because I don't yet have kids I'm unaware of anything going on today regarding children. I'm almost 30, is my entire belief system/personal views, set of moral values and view of life going to completely change just because I pop out a baby? I highly highly doubt it.
If the kid is 14 I probably would have bought him the playboy. A lot classier than a lot of the p0rn you can find on the internets.
You are absolutely right. Some people don't change at all when they have children. I think that's a shame. Good night everyone!
Why on earth do you think it's a shame that people don't change when they have children? Is there something inherently wrong with people before they have babies and they need to change so they make good parents?
This is just silly really.
By the kid a nudie mag.
That's the way I would go as well, nicely said.
Perhaps Grynch, the 14 yr old was not only testing the waters with you, but seeking in that roundabout ('Idon'tquiteknowhowtoputittooembarrassingway') some advice?
Sounds like you know him pretty well, maybe he was just trying to initiate, in that awkward teenage way, a way to "chew the fat" with you, so to speak.
Judgment call here I guess, you know the family and know how much or little you should say.
Perhaps a little whisper to the parents? They may be glad that teenboy is open to talking about such things with you, give your (I would say) trusted opinion/advice......
Dunno really, just a thought.
Ros
Personally, I think the fact the OP has a close relationship with the boy this can be used to open a discussion without actually providing the p0rn.
I would thank him for trusting you enough to ask, that it was a very mature thing to do but to keep the respect and friendship of both him and his parents it is not something that a family friend should provide. You could also say that this does not mean you are not willing to answer any questions he may have, now or in the future.
All my sons have viewed p0rn as I have said on other posts. I have no trouble with that so long as it also comes with awareness and is not just a distorted image of women, which may make them misogynistic or have unrealistic expectations on others or themselves. Afterall, those 12"ers that are on show really can make a lad feel inadequate!
So, use the question to open up the debate but I would tell him that its his right of passage to get the material for himself!
But a grown man stepping out in public asking "Should I buy a 14 y.o. porn?" is pretty queer in itself. What were you expecting to hear? For all I know, you were fishing for like-minded pervs.
That was just low bud, read what was written again, yeah!?
Ros
It is absurd to compare the impressionability of a 14 year old boy with that of yourself as a nearly 30 y.o. adult.
I am sure your parents did a fine job raising you, but did that fine job include buying you alcohol, cigarettes and playgirl at age 14? What if your daughter at age 14 wanted to wear string/thong underpants under a super-mini to school?
I also do not have children, but as I look around I see 14 year olds everywhere who think they are 21 wearing inappropriate clothes, over focused on the external and not so worried about what is going on with the inside.
I have a few guy friends who have told me about their p-o-r-n addiction that started when they started stealing their dad`s girlie mags at age 12 or 13 and now are dealing with the fall-out of problems that it is creating in their marriage and personal life.
Curiosity about the human body is normal and women`s bodies are beautiful. But why would you want to spring board a child into the world of adults? It will come soon enough. In the meantime, if it takes a village to raise a child, I hope the OP will take the higher road. And for God`s sake, hide your girlie mags when the kids are over.