Ok - bit of a long thread. Lived on suisse romandie side, on one side of the Lauvaux, and moved to the other side last week. In the previous small village in which we lived, our married neighbor lady had a 'fellow' in a black BMW (how I noticed, because of his car) over Tuesday and Thursday morning after her kids went to school and he left before she went to pick them up. We are friends with her and she explained about her husband -- 'we are kinda married but not really, it's a long explanation' and so we left it at that. Figured she was having an affair and left it at that.
So we move (not because of last situation, just better place). And in the first week in our new place (our neighbors next door are married) --- a 'fellow' shows up every other day and knocks on her back door. If she doesn't answer he leaves. We have seen them once together and they looked very romantic, but he is not her husband.
To take the cake --- we moved to a new construction and yesterday the landlord (owner) was showing a guy the last vacant apartment (we live in a 4 family), and the guy works next door to us and can see our apartment. I was introduced to the new guy by the owner --- after the new guy saw the apartment, he ran my bell and told me -- 'I see you live here and see you everyday and I just wanted to meet you so I asked the landlord to see the apartment in hopes i could meet you'. But I'm married and he knows this and I told him so.
Ok-
1- I have too much time on my hands to watch my neighbors and apparently they are watching me
2- Is it cool and protocol to have and 'affair' en suisse? Seems like others do it and it is ok to approach other people 'kinda in secret' if you find them attractive. More so than other countries? Lived in NYC for decades, but didn't experience this kinda blatant.....
3- Has anyone experienced this behavior? Maybe more on the French side than German.
4 - How to handle? Can handle myself, but for a neighbor, any more polite wats to deal with this en suisse?
I have seen many adverts for "lunchtime liaisons" where it has been made quite clear that the advertiser is married - I remember being quite shocked at the time ..
In the French part that I have frequented (around La Chaux de Fonds), it seems to be very common for the women to go 'for a run and some exercise' with a heavy weight on the later part... or that the colleague of the husband comes by the house to help with some house-work.
I have not noticed this in the Zurich area though, except of one girl who came from the French part... seems they are truly French and need a bit more of this and that...
If all parties involved consent with it then I can fully agree with that statement ("better for everyone") that I am a one lady at a time kind of guy myself.
I used to live in a small village almost smack dab between Basel and Zurich. My next door neighbour's husband ran off with a 16 yr old girl he had apparently been having an affair with..she came home from work one day and he'd taken his things and went off to Zurich...or so the story goes (who knows in these small town's?!?) But I can confirm he was gone..buggered off and left her with 2 young kids.
It was quite awfel..especially considering the age of the girl he was having an affair with (well it is certinally shocking for me as I'm Canadian).
But I've always wondered..it does seem more common here..IMHO
true! i think people are just more open about, it's less taboo. in nyc i would pull the i'm married and worked like a charm. here, guys don't care, it's not a deterrent.
No idea, but maybe it is more common in the Romandie than in the German part. Then again, maybe it's common here, too, but Les Alémaniques are just more discreet about it
Come to think of it, I get hit on more when I visit Geneva or Lausanne than when I'm in Zurich. Guys in that part of the country seem to be more flirty, my status as a married woman notwithstanding.
I suppose the possibility of giving her back afterwards is the rational here, or for people who are already married just easier to find someone already married.
i think so but i get hit in by 19 yr olds . i have an 11 year old so it's kinda creepy... but i think it's more a matter of 'who cares, he's not with you' kinda thing. it's definitely more acceptable to have an affair, at least here.
Hmmmnn....seems rather odd (to me) that the tabu(s) may be less rigid on this issue in CH. Fascinating topic of discussion.
The predominate societal correctness over the exact following of rules seems to contradict the freedom to step outside vows....
And the dedication to the long nooner lunchtime for "family time"....is that a euphemism for "romping time"?
I must admit of the hundreds of postings I've read in scores of strands, I would have guessed there would be a naturalness and a flow in sensuality which would follow societal rules and not stray....
But maybe my naivete is showing.... Humans are human....and can be so human at times....
I have also noticed a "relaxed" approach to the dogma of monogamy over here. with men physically flirting in front of the one's partner
on the other hand maybe when the swiss get married - at least the protestants - they don't have the catholic monogamy vows. in italy, whether you marry in church or not, unfaithfulness is a grounds for divorce, here maybe it's different?