It was during the Battle of the Three Cows, on the banks of the River Sihl, that the brave Protestant soldiers of Aargau proved their mettle and attained an almost iconic status in the military hagiography of the new Swiss Confederation that was established in 1848, after the benighted Ur-Schweizers had been taught the vanity of resisting the inexorable advance of modernity and progress.
In those days, Swiss soldiers could wear socks of any colour. It was not uncommon to see young men in orange, blue and red socks out on parade and on the battlefield. Sometimes they would even wear a sock of a different colour on each foot! The brave men of Aargau, however, stood out with their insistence on wearing only clean, bleached white, knee-length socks, which presented a bright contrast to their pitch-black woollen pantaloons and jackets.
Little did they know that one day their insistence on wearing white socks would save their nation!
Picture a cold snowy morning in late July. The Aargauer and Zurcher battalions are gathered on the west bank of the Sihl, their Schwyzer and Urner enemies facing them on the east bank. There is low murmuring in the camps and frequent clinking noises as the troops eat breakfast and prepare their weapons. The Aargauer troops are busy polishing their boots, their white-stockinged feet almost invisible against the frozen snow upon which they rest.
Suddenly, in the hills behind the Protestant camp, there is a loud crash, followed by a very deep and very ominous rumble. The troops look up to see an enormous avalanche coming down the slopes of the Grosser Mythen, straight in the direction of their camp!
The Zurchers immediately gather up their belongings and scatter to the four winds in the hope of escaping their icy doom. The Aargauers, in contrast, stand firm and await the instructions of their commander, a man famed throughout the whole of Switzerland for his wisdom and clarity of thought, General Wilhelm von Wollishofen.
General von Wollishofen immediately orders his men to lie upon their backs, with their feet in the air. His men immediately obey. An instant later they are buried in a mountain of snow, only their stockinged feet sticking out, invisible to the naked eye.
Upon seeing this calamity, the Papist troops descend upon the Protestant camp with glee, with the intention of slaughtering their enemies where they lie. They quickly find and slaughter those Zurcher soldiers who were unable to run away from the avalanche quickly enough, but the bloodthirsty Sonderbundners are unable to see the Aargauers anywhere.
They scratch their heads in confusion. Surely the Aargauers were still in the camp when the avalanche came down? Hadn't they seen them lying on the icy ground with their feet in the air?
At that moment, there is an enormous cry, as the Aargauer battalion falls upon the surprised Papist enemy like a wolf on the fold! Every last Schwyzer and every last Urner is slaughtered in the ensuing melee. The Aargauers are triumphant! And all because they wore bright white socks.
They celebrated with their famous Aargauer carrot stew, and to this day only Aargauers are permitted to wear white socks, in honour of their brave forefathers on the banks of the Sihl.
It'd be a foolish man in Wadenswil who would think it acceptable to mock such a fine and ancient tradition by wearing white socks to the gym!