So, I didn't get Bianca at Vanity (who is leaving the shop tomorrow), although that was specifically who I asked for. Instead, I got a younger beautician called Melanie.
DO NOT EVER GO FOR A BRAZILIAN WITH MELANIE AT VANITY on Bleicherweg.
I've had my share of bad brazilian waxes in the past - from the one who forgot to warm up the wax, to the one who thought it was ok to attack me with a tweezer, to ... selective memory somehow doesn't work on most of these experiences! And my pain threshold is quite high.
But this was THE WORST EVER!!!
First off, the bed was heated - which can be nice, I've had great heated-wax-bed experiences, some even put you to sleep - but here, it was just too hot. I started to sweat in the back! When I asked her to turn it off, she didn't even know it was on.............
Then the actual waxing... Whatever happened to fast and faster? She went in with the old fashion thick wax, that you have to let cool before being able to strip it off. So on top of being in one of the most sensitive areas of my body, I had to go through her repeatedly failing to get all the wax out, or even worse, failing to grab one of the ends to pull it off.
After a while (30 minutes and not even a tenth of the hair gone), I simply asked her to switch to the strip wax (I thought that was standard at this point!). And then - here comes the kick - I was told that this was too sensitive an area to use it, and that the old fashioned wax was better. I insisted, she proceeded reluctantly. So we get to the final bits (I get it all off - so I'll let you guess which area) and there... she tells me she has to switch to the other one. I flipped out and simply refused to go further. I kept the moustache...
On top of all that, she kept on apologising, and asking if I was ok (no, I wasn't ok, how could I ever be ok while being badly Brazilian-waxed??)
On the other hand, she speaks enough English. I also did the legs and underarms, and that was ok... with the strip wax - really curious which school this girl went to, to think it was suitable to let a thick coat of warm wax cool on me c***t!
But over 150 swiss francs later (ouch!!), I also get a massive allergy attack where she used the old fashioned wax. Any suggestions how to cool it welcome. (tried Nivea the first time I ever got brazilian, and that was not a good solution, Nivea's got alcohol in it, and so does Cold Cream...)
All I know is that I am now willing to travel far to see the Brazilian specialist in Aargau ( www.orchidee-cosmetic.ch ). Damn, I miss my chop shop in London!
I figured I should share my Vanity horror story with all of you EF-Brazilian-waxees before any further casualties.