*A Gift: a little something that will have come from a conversation you have had before the date, it shows that you pay attention.
*You pay for everything, that is how it works. After a few dates you will be invited.
*Sessy times: she'll know within 10 seconds if it's a oui/non and she'll let you know.
Always keep in mind this is a woman, not a girl. There is no need to play silly games... you will be if you start.
I mean French women might imply its the cute, short brown hair, lovely a bit stiff kind of girls you'll have to put up with.
If that should be the case, sink me, I would have to agree with DBs suggestions.
How can you enjoy when you are bl@@dy nervous ? And about being
yourself, is it OK on a first date to discuss the merits of a shovelhead 80"
engine over a 74" engine ? I'm screwed ain't I ?
Lucky I have a GF, don't ask me how that happened, wasn't paying attention
I can attest to this one, the more feromones you spread the better
If you can bring oily lubricants into the conversation, all the better.
It's always worked for me...
French women are simple creatures, like hobbit's but taller. So don't worry about sparkling convesation too much just wave your arms about and say 'mais' a lot whilst keeping an expression of trapped wind on your face. After the cigarettes, sausage and plonk, to cement a lasting relationship swat up on facial hair removal.. then you'll have to beat her off with a stick
But my friend did (and she still happily does..), and believe it or not, what has worked for her and her girlfriend was to make it very very lighthearted from the start...
Never imply anything about the future, etc. Express your interest as of NOW, in a friendly way. My friend did this, even said she is not looking for anyone steady and long term. And voila...They have been happily steady and long term for a while now. Makes me laugh.
Not playing games, not leading anybody in, just enjoying a good time together, being close friends first, not rushing into stuff and slowly progressing. I think what charmed her French lover was the fact she felt no pressure and obligation and had enough time and space to realize she wants my friend. People who rush into things make an impression of being desperate. (Or, my theory is - knowing well what they want and going determined after it, which is not bad, so take this with a grain of salt.)
So, at the end, Uncle Bertrand is a bit right..
Please don't boring with "blablabla..." it doesn't work! Be as yourself, show the best you have or whould have inside. A little of charm, a little of intelligence, a little of humour and a little of chivalry : this is the receipe...
good luck!
French Lady
Charming, intelligent and lots of eye contact
Interested but not clingy
Confident but not over-confident
And be yourself. Because that's all she'll be getting in the end.
It's really quite easy.
Zut alors! Je suis bostin pour une oui!
... for example?
Being a current resident of Paris, and having experienced first hand the French dating culture, I can give you a few general tips. That said, every person is different, not everyone fits the stereotype and every couple has their own specific vibe....
As a general outline, most Frenchies are all or nothing. They want either a quick sexual liason, or a soul-mate. They dont really do "dating" as the US/UK/Australia know it.
If you fancy a quick sexual liaison, then definitely lay on lots of sexual innuendo, the twinkle in the eye and after a few glasses of wine, a direct offer to go home for yet another glass (wink wink).
If you want something more lasting, then definitely play it more romantic than sexy. The puppydog eyes work well here. Dont offer to go home for a nightcap. Play the gentleman. Definitely make arrangements for a second date while still on the first.
A tip about kissing on the lips/french kissing: If you've had say, 2 dates, and then you kiss on the lips, it basically means that you're now a couple. You are locked in as a result of your lip-lock! In my case, I got hit with a kiss in the middle of the first date and was surprised when Mr Frenchie changed his facebook status to "in a relationship" just 2 weeks later. He was very confused. He thought that it was just a formality, and that we had, in fact, become life-partners from that first kiss. Go figure...
French women need compliments and affection to survive. If you dont constantly water a plant, it wilts and dies. Same for French women and attention. Call her 3 times a day, wrap your arms around her like she's a precious delicate flower, look into her eyes and tell you you've never felt so much passion for a woman....
She will be cold. Ice cold. She will look around at everything else except you. She will pout and look bored. She will complain. This is all a strategy to get you to smother her with love and attention and try to make it all better. It's your job to make her smile. You gotta work hard for her love!
I'm not sure what your nationality is, but another angle is to play the tough, macho, Anglo-man. Like Crocodile Dundee. Sometimes playing the dominant physical male really makes French girls go weak at the knees. Hence why there are so many French girls who love Australian men (the majority of which are still living like cave men). Be butch, treat them mean, keep them keen.
Of course, trying to work out the rules of dating is a futile exercise. If they dont like you for who you are, then there's no point being with them. Sure, be extra sensitive to cultural differences, talk about them openly, laugh even! But in the end, true love transcends all cultural boundaries. Go on your date with an open heart and mind, and show her the very best englebert that you can be.
Here endeth the lesson.
If the joke is for English speakers, then it's normal that I don't get it - in that case, I humblely beg for a hint... I may get it at the end.
humble regards,
F.