Strip Clubs In Basel???

I think it has something to do with seeing things for what they really are. Those clubs do a thriving business by directly exploiting a very potent weakness shared by many (if not most) men. In some instances one might conclude no one is harmed, but not in the OP's case.

And do you think that making prostitution illegal that these problems will go away or just get worse?

Your awesome! Thanks for that! Will seek english council, then see what I feel after that! If he wants to be a bachelor, and act the part, he has no business being married to me.... He knew this going into it.

He went alone.. too new here to have friends.. Works too much!

Wow, if my hubby went to a strip club on a Vday he would be single in no time, no matter who he did there. I don't know how he could do it to you especially on a day like that and lied as well.

Though I appreciate your putting a nice smile on my face by cheering me up, I am one that feels 2 wrongs don't make any rights.. though I wish I had the gull to get him back, I find myself not willing to put myself out to just anyone.. Thank you for the little smile

I honestly am still really upset, and not sure what to do in my heart. All I know is that if I want this then we need council. I am not a mean spirited woman, but really scorned right now.. Best that he is gone tonight till late. I agree, strip clubs are supposed to be fun for groups of guys having a laugh, not by themselves to meet women and get their rocks off when they have a responsibility to their marriage.

I needed that! Thank you!

God.

I dont know how people make relationships work. I find trying to trust someone is the most exhausting and depressing thing and I dont think I can do it.. and I dont think I would get over it if this happened to me.

I didnt read all 94285720432 pages.. so I'm not sure if something else was said/revealed on the pages I missed, but this guy said he was going Valentines Day shopping (left you at home again with his dog), came home drunk 7 hours later with a 500CHF bill from a strip club? And he wont spend money getting the dog trained? ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

My God I would be fuming. I am fuming.

I dont know how people do this...

Former lap dancer says that men who think it is harmless are wrong

Sorry about your woes.

I am and have so many mixed emotions right now.. I am scared, lost, hurt, mad frustrated, now insecure about him and anything he does.. very vicious circle, and not sure what to do. I do not know if he has cheated yet, guess that is what drives me crazy the most.. I know council is the best thing to save this, and my sanity, but I need to decide if I even want to stay... I gave up my business, my friends, family even my son left to go live with his dad for sports and school, all to be a supporting wife. This is what I have been handed. Pretty upset for just the matter of disrespect! UGH!

to me it is just plain stupidity.

a second thought:

does he seem to want to end the relationship, but he doesn't want to be the bad guy who "officially" ends it??

No ****ing sh!t.

Was this guy (below) serious??

I am sorry for your woes too! I wish I could say something helpful but I am just soooo mad, I would have filled every sentence I've written with swear words if I could because thats how they were in my head.

When you say "council" do you mean like couples therapy?

I can imagine the mixed emotions. I'd be distraught and feel stupid (no offense intended obviously! just there are things that make me feel stupid and this would be one of them!) for giving up all that for him, but then you dont know if he has done enough wrong for you to actually leave him and it would be so hard anyway.

Ohh what a sh!tty situation I'm so sorry!

Thank you.. I appreciate the link.. will show it to him..

This guy does seem like a mystery.. first there was how careless he was being about the dog and now this? Maybe subgold has a point?

Thank you Lucy.. I do feel stupid. I finally let my guard down for the 1st time in my life.. At 36 I would think I would have seen this, but the lies have covered it all up.. Never saw it coming. He did not and does not want to loose me, and claims he would die if I left him..... but each time he screws up he does this cry method. I forgive, and he does it again. I am seeing a trend now.. Eyes are open...

I dont know the other things he has screwed up.. and while my feelings about this are VERY strong I do just want to add that I am just an angry little 21 year old and maybe other people would have more level-headed and experienced advice for you..

But really.... I REALLY dont think its okay..

How long have you been in Switzerland? Why did you move here? Do you work here or is it all just for him?

Wow. Talk about out of left field, as the Septics say.......

That place looks pretty harmless, and the prices don’t seem OTT.

For what it’s worth, I doubt he was in there shagging, or ‘not having

sexual relations’ à la Bill Clinton

What does your husband do? Does he need to entertain for business? Be entertained?

Was it the business’s cash or 500 quid of joint funds he can't afford to blow? If you're in business you sometimes (have to) do some smarmy things.....

This may or may not be what you want to hear. There’s a wide range of titty bars but it’s fair to say that just about anything is for sale, for the right price.

That doesn’t mean that it was on in this case, or that your bloke was dipping his quill where he oughtn’t have done.

Frankly, if the valentines dinner & keeping you on ice for 7 hours etc are true, you have some relationship issues that are beyond the scope of this thread.

This is not intended as any innuendo towards you, but I hate these salacious internet accusation things where you only get one side of the story

and the object of everyone's ire can't repond or defend him/herself.

Also, you’ve given so many details that your bloke or anyone associated with this tawdry tale can't fail to twig if they see it

Do you really want to play this out on a forum like this??

Good luck, signed (the cornered Mr Florida sweetie - not!)

sorry to be a bit negative Sweetie2, but to someone who has some experience

with dysfunctional blokes, that's a bad sign

(suitably caveated as noted above given the one-way nature of the muck being slung on these bog walls....)

See ^^more level-headed and experienced sort of advice..

Still makes me savage though, that men do this sort of thing for a business entertainment thing. I get it, that I am a lot less easy-going about this stuff than a lot of people.. and maybe I should lighten up but all the guys I've ever been with were jealous and possessive and wouldnt let me do sh!t like that if the shoe was on the other foot.. so I dont understand why its okay.

Also true about about all the details you write on this forum! He wont mind if people see it? I get in sooo much trouble for writing the tiniest little details of my life on here.

Ummm a little off topic, but on the subject of (possibly) cr@ppy husbands.. anyone know why "EastEnders" hasnt been active lately? She used to be online all the time and always had plenty to say on these topics and now shes been offline for months.....

We moved here last july for his job. I left my business back in Florida. I do not work as I have been looking for some, but golf here is not the big thing.. My trade. I am here just for him. Trying to be supportive wife.

For one, he does not belong to this site, he is on Basel expat to clear this subject matter up. Frankly I may just show him all this tonight when I am giving him a round of what I think, so he can see how his behavior is so unacceptable, and should I choose to leave him, he will have a full understanding as to why.

Simple advice, though you don't want to hear it. Instead of spending your time reading advice from strangers who are genuinely amused by your situation, interspersed with advice from others who are genuinely concerned but only know the half of the story you know, further biased through your retelling... try spending some time talking to the guy. If he doesn't want to talk, try harder.

You're gonna get all the wrong answers here, sister.

Yeah thats fair enough. Personally I dont see the problem with it.. I just know I get in trouble for it so wondered how you get a way with it!

Useful blaming you chosen career in escalating your drug habit ....

Never believe an addict

So why did she chose lap dancing ... ah, they easy money for drugs !!

Tell you what, shagging your crack dealer, and all his friend would be far more degrading ......